Evolution of Man VS TV

dione — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:11:00 +0000

Super Mario Theme played with car and bottles

dione — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:14:00 +0000

[video align='align-center']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed4CHkN-Dkw[/video]

Mango Chat

dione — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:00:00 +0000

I had native mango (sobrang maasim) sa bahay that looks like no ones eating it... nagsawa na kasi... then meron din akong office mate na buntis... what should i do??... buntis and mango..perfect match... haha... ayun binigay ko.. after that nagkaroonkami ng magulong chat.....

Dione: maasim anoDione: abocado gusto mo
Lyn: tama lng sa kin..
Lyn:
Lyn: cla naasiman
Dione: haha
Lyn: meron ka din dala..
Lyn: haha
Lyn: pag prutas dpat ako inaalok mo..
Lyn:
Dione: wala... baka kasi uwi ako maya...
Lyn: tlga..
Dione: uso daw samin abocado ngayon
Lyn:
Lyn: cge cge..
Lyn:
Dione: manga ulit?
Lyn: ayos lng din..
Lyn:
Dione: dinalhan mo ba ng asin yan
Lyn: marami kau puno..
Lyn: meron ako asin
Lyn: hehe
Dione: haha....
Lyn: sa wendys..
Lyn: ay penge
Lyn: kulang eh..
Dione: ng puno?
Lyn:
Lyn: ng asin!
Lyn: adik
Dione: haha
Lyn:
Dione: sige dala ako...
Lyn: ng puno??
Dione: penge kamo...
Lyn: ng asin?
Dione: meron kami sa may bundok nung tatay ko.
Dione: haha
Lyn: ahhh
Lyn: ang gulo mo..
Lyn:
Dione: oo nga

salamat sa pagbabasa...

What do you think about this..??

ako i think Ive just wasted 20 seconds of your life... haha

what da... Free Host!!!!

dione — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 14:20:00 +0000

This Info might be usefulll for beginners who want to boost themselves in the web...!

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two nuns..

dione — Sat, 31 May 2008 10:54:00 +0000

There were two nuns..

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM : And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

Say two Hail Marys!

and.. of course - forward this mail!

Taxi DriveR = )

dione — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:58:00 +0000

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed , lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Baby Beatles....

dione — Tue, 06 May 2008 12:01:00 +0000

[video align="align-center"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0GlgU5d-gI&feature=related[/video]

I just found this while surfing videos about north korea... this is south korean Show {Wunderkind Contest } with this bibo baby beatles.......

You know it's time to diet when......

dione — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:11:00 +0000

a picture of you got so heavy and fell off the wall!

You are diagnosed with the flesh-eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live!

You put mayonnaise on an aspirin!

You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts!

Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."!!

You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture!

one day when you got in a fight and the person fighting you got lost in you!

you eat cereal out of a satellite dish!

your friends exercise by jogging around you!

you sat on a Playstation 3 and it turned into a PSP!

you are measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...!!

when you farted, you launched yourself into orbit!!

when drivers had to swerve to avoid hitting you on the road, they ran out of Petrol!

you could be the eighth continent!

when you auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark, you got the part of the big Rolling Ball!

you show up on radar!

you fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

the firemen use you as a safety catch!!

The Good Husband

dione — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 17:13:00 +0000

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending
his company's Christmas
Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the
drinks didn't taste like
alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got
home from the party. As
bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did
something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the
first thing he sees is
a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the
side table. And, next
to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees
his clothing in front of
him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room
and sees that it is in
perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of
the house. He takes the
aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye
staring back at him in the
bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on
the corner of the mirror
written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss
mark from his wife in   lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to
get groceries to make
you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is
hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His
son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?" "Well,
you came home after 3
A.M., drunk and out of your mind.. You fell over the
coffee table and broke
it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that
black eye when you ran  into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything
in such perfect order
and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the
table waiting for  me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to
the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, I'm  married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time ...
"Priceless!"

Ang Lufet ni Inday

dione — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 08:24:00 +0000

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang
katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo...

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto,
maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba
ang lahat ng ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management
with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will
contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my
creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of
outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si
junior.

Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well
engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the
boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory
organ.

Amo: [Di maka-react habang nagno-nosebleed ulit]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the
increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste
drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing. I
don't want you to percieve that being idle means losing the thought
of learning from a communicable media.

Donya: [hinimatay]

Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal's office dahil
di makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight.
I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this
educational institution. Revise your policies because they're
beguile!

Principal: [nag resign]

Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking
havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates
that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path
it was heading for.

Amo: [napatumbling! !]

Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property
damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to
be inflicted upon you! And I won't give a damn business on the
repurcussions it may result in domesticating your actions!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, pinunasan ang nagdudugong ilong!!]

Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis
si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish
reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if
they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people
can't understand you for doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]

Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng
kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable
statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.

Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, naging syota nya rin si Inday.
Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke
Dodong. Sa labas ng gate...

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the
provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love
you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love
each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any
affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting
to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily
recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal
articulation from myself"

Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at
Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you
thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that
the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to
stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: { hinimatay sa sobrang nosebleed! Hanggang ngayon hindi pa
nagkakamalay}