Taxi DriveR = )

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed , lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "

The driver replied, "Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Joke pack (old)

Powder 

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer.

"What the ? ? ?," he said to himself as a
little! ; blue "dust" cloud appeared
when he shook them out.

"April," he hollered into the bathroom,
"why did you put talcum powder
in my underwear?"

She shot back:

"It's not talcum powder.

It's

'Miracle Grow'."

Community Chests 

A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary.

"HA!" he snorted. "The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow
hair on your chest!"

On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrust her pubic area
forward.

"There! I have hair on my chest, now buy me the damn coat!"

"That's not your chest!" he roars back.

"Damn right it's my chest!" she argued. "Before we got married, this was
your hope chest. On our
honeymoon it was your treasure chest. Afterwards it became our family
chest….AND IF YOU DON'T
BUY ME A FUR COAT….IT WILL SOON BECOME THE COMMUNITY CHEST!"

 Bus Drivers Parents

Little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and
starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little
bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If
my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little
elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry
and Yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a
prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"