The Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending
 his company’s Christmas
 Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the
 drinks didn’t taste like
 alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got
 home from the party. As
 bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did
 something wrong.
 
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the
 first thing he sees is
 a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the
 side table. And, next
 to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees
 his clothing in front of
 him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room
 and sees that it is in
 perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of
 the house. He takes the
 aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye
 staring back at him in the
 bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on
 the corner of the mirror
 written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss
 mark from his wife in   lipstick:
 
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to
 get groceries to make
 you your favorite dinner tonight.
 I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
 
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is
  hot breakfast,
 steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His
 son is also at the table, eating. 
 
Jack asks, "Son… What happened last night?" "Well,
 you came home after 3
 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.. You fell over the
 coffee table and broke
 it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that
 black eye when you ran  into the door.
 
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything
 in such perfect order
 and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the
 table waiting for  me??"
 
His son replies, "Oh THAT!… Mom dragged you to
 the bedroom, and when
 she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
 "Leave me alone, I’m  married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time …
"Priceless!"